Thoughts You Can Think About

(Or Not)

Various thoughts

Hey Post,

After spending the past two days almost-but-not-absolutely offline, I have a bunch of one/two-line thoughts I need to share.
  • I communicate more effectively in the written form than I do in a conversation. Which is weird, because I edit minimally, if at all.
  • In stark contrast to the above, I love to have conversations, especially in person or on the phone.
  • I'm housesitting for someone who, like my father, is a voracious reader. Neither of them have even a single bookshelf in their rooms. I don't think I could ever live without one around to inspire me when I go to bed (or, for that matter, wake up).
  • I'm a much better cook than I give myself credit for. Cooking is probably my newest passion, and it's especially tailored to me: a series of compounding small victories with easily measurable results.
  • There's way more music than I could ever hope to listen to, but I will always love new sounds. Maybe it's this fact that gives me my love of post-modernism?
  • I don't get enough "me" time. I think this phenomenon manifests itself differently in people, according to their needs. I don't get grumpy or anything... in fact, I don't think I ever realize what's missing.
  • I'm a much better designer than I give myself credit for -- on that note, I think we're all better designers than we think we are -- but I haven't developed the skills to let my imagination become reality.
  • The only person I spoke to today was my Mother. The only people I communicated with were her, a friend of mine who invited me to play Whirlyball tonight, and a cute girl I met last night. Oh, and two bite-sized tweets to Brian and Sean (but do those count?). Today was fantastic because of it.
  • As the band Modern Art has said, Modern Art makes me want to rock out.
  • If McDonald's is fast food for the mouth, and bubblegum pop music is fast food for the ears, what's fast food for the eyes? (Nascar?) What about the nose or skin?
Time to get to a couple of the urgent emails in my inbox before doing a big blitz of 'em tomorrow. Have a great night!

--Aidan

The irrational effects of FREE!

Hey Post,

Haven't written in a while, gotta get back in the habit. I won't bore you with a list of things that have been up since last I wrote, but I will pass on what I've been thinking about:

I started reading Dan Ariely's Predictably Irrational today (yes, I know, a year or two late). One part of the chapter on the irrational decisions we make to capitalize on FREE! really intrigued me.

One of the experiments Ariely cites is one involving Lindt chocolates and Hershey Kisses. People who came up to the booth were only allowed to take one chocolate, and they had three pricing conditions. When they were priced at 15 cents for the Lindt and 1 for the Kiss, people purchased, way more often than not, Lindt chocolates. Controlling for the effects of a 1-cent difference, they saw the same results at 16 cents/2 cents.

But when the Kiss was offered for free, and the Lindt at 14 cents, there was a radical reversal in their popularity. While people seemed to derive more absolute pleasure from purchasing the far-superior Lindt at such a dramatically reduced price than a far-inferior (though still tasty) Kiss at a fairly standard price, the inherent value they ascribe to the chocolates is affected by an unknown force -- the emotional value we get from FREE!

Upon reading this, I started to think about the value we place on FREE! Can it be measured? Do we know what sort of awesome deal/awesome product offsets a shitty free one? I haven't come across any research that studies that seriously, and Ariely doesn't mention any in the book. If you know of some, I'd love a link. If not, I'll keep on looking (albeit casually) and let you know if I find something.

But Ariely continues:

In economic terms, Ariely describes in the appendix the reason why this is irrational: the pure value we perceive in the chocolates remains unchanged, regardless of the price (he suggests 30 or so pleasure-points for the Lindt, 6 or so for the Kiss), and is offset by the displeasure we experience through the price (for example, -1 pleasure-points per cent, which makes -15 pleasure-points for the Lindt and -1 for the Kiss in the base state).

In absolute terms, the same reduction in price will always yield the same differential in terms of pleasure -- in the base case, Lindts give 15 pleasure-points, and Kisses give 5. The difference between those is 10 pleasure-points. With a FREE! Kiss, rationally, we would expect the values to change to 16 pleasure-point for the Lindts, and 6 for the Kisses. But that's not the case.

This gave me another hypothesis: perhaps the value we derive from FREE! exists as an avoidance of displeasure. This hypothesis could also help justify why we find volunteering pleasurable: if paying isn't pleasurable, and getting paid isn't either (as Ariely notes in the next chapter, it changes the framework from social norms to market norms), the avoidance of the displeasure is worth a lot of pleasure in our minds.

To sum up, I have two hypotheses I want to pursue (and would love it if you joined me):

  1. How much pleasure do we need to offer to offset the effects of FREE!? Further, is it an absolute amount or relative amount (250 pleasure-points, or 250%?)
  2. Is the emotional response to FREE! caused by our avoidance of displeasure?
Yours always with food for thought,

--Aidan

Thoughts on aspirational self-narration (I don't know where this is going yet)

Hey Post,

I have a million things I could or should be writing about right now, but only one thing is on my mind: how crazy I seem to myself, and curiosity as to what it says about me. Not to mention wondering whether or not others engage in these same processes, and what value (positive or negative) they get from it.

To get a sense of where I'm coming from, I detailed the situation in this Craigslist Missed Connection. It's by no means necessary to get the gist of what I'm about to say, but it'll probably help focus these thoughts for you if you read it. So yeah, read it.

I see people all the time and develop insane, over-reaching internal stories about my potential relationship with them. With girls, especially pretty/beautiful ones, I tell myself stories of walking them home, being chivalrous, and yes, occasionally, sex (though, I swear, it's not always sex, nor as often as you might expect). With guys, I see us hanging out, drinking while watching a zombie movie, doing some crazy work together and changing the world -- and no, this isn't a sexist thing (maybe it is subconsciously?), it's just that 95% of my business/project partnerships have been with guys up to this point.

Do other people do this? Are they as elaborate as mine? What does it say about me?

I have a hyperactive imagination, especially when it comes to people, but sometimes it verges on ridiculous. I find true love at least twice a week; I better the world a few times a month. But it's all in my head.

The problem, I guess, is how do I get it out of there? How do I turn this fictionalized account of my life, any fictionalized account of my life, into reality?

While the realist in me says I can't, my over-active imagination isn't satisfied with that answer. I know that the stories I tell myself -- for instance, tonight's one about falling in love with the girl in the purple shirt and staying with her for a long, long period of time -- will probably never come true in the absolute sense, but it says something about what I want, doesn't it? About what I'm striving for? About what's missing in my life?

If that's the case, should I be trying to find the meaningful relationships? Should I be looking for love, for my "soulmate"? Every time I've tried in the past, these stories stop telling themselves for a few weeks; if I'm lucky, they're silenced for a month or two. But then, without fail, they re-emerge... and I can't contain them.

Does that mean I failed? Or is it an escape mechanism that's keeping me on the hunt?

Are the things I desire -- or believe I desire -- actually what I need to be happy?

The funny thing is, I'm completely content with these narrations. Tonight's story with the girl in the purple shirt was marvelous... way more satisfying than at least a few of the relationships I've put myself through over the years. And the "breakup" won't last too long, either... I'll probably have forgotten it all by the morning.

Best of all, I didn't have to let my own mental/habitual flaws upset (and yes, sometimes even devastate) another person. The harm I'm committing is self-inflicted and self-selecting.

And, turning for a second to my personal stories of the legacy I leave, of the places I speak at, the people I speak to, and the positive impact I create for others through the execution of my ideas... is it achievable? Or is the very fact that I desire -- in fact, sometimes even crave -- the outcome practically guaranteeing my failure in its pursuit?

I don't think I'm going to get anywhere conclusive on this subject. At least, not tonight. But it's worth thinking about: Am I alone in this self-storytelling, or are there others who do it too (Lord knows nobody tends to talk about them)?  If there are others, is my imagination more or less vivid than theirs? Regardless, which situations bring out the over-reaching imagination in me, and which let me be content following the story only two, not twenty, steps down the line?

Most importantly: are these narrations personal prophecies of the future, or a way for me to satisfy urges that I don't actually desire -- or, worse still, am currently unable to achieve (and unsure of how to get to the point of possible achievement)?

--Aidan

Purple_shirt_chicago_ave_bus_a

I just realized this: NEVER take advice from Shaggy.

Post, forgive me for what I'm about to say.

Never, ever take advice from Shaggy.

I know, blasphemy. Especially considering that, back when I was 13/14, he was the shit. I thought I had learned some life lessons from Boombastic and Oh Carolina. And when It Wasn't Me was released, well... let's just say that I stumbled onto what would be my relationship Bible for a number of years.

But today, in the shower, I realized something: Shaggy was very, very wrong. To the point where I think I can blame most of my relationship troubles this past 7/8 years on the rapper.

Take, for example, the following lyrics:

But she caught me on the counter (It wasn't me)
Saw me bangin' on the sofa (It wasn't me)
I even had her in the shower (It wasn't me)
She even caught me on camera (It wasn't me)

Shaggy, in this passage, is telling his friend what to do: deny cheating on his girlfriend, even though she witnessed it. And, gullible lil' ol' me thought this was the right thing to do for years.

And herein lies the epiphany: Shaggy was dead wrong.

Deconstruct those lyrics for a second:
  1. She caught me having sex with another girl on the counter, and neither myself nor the other girl noticed her there. So she was hiding.
  2. She saw me continuing to bang this other girl on the sofa, and again, neither of the engaged parties noticed her. So, again, she was hiding.
  3. She saw me having this other girl in the shower. And again, no confrontation. She just stood there and watched.
  4. She videotaped me having intercourse with this other girl. Or at least photographed it.
I'm sorry, but trying to pass it off as though "it wasn't me" is detrimental to one's long-term sanity. This girlfriend is obviously crazy, and the boy in the story -- to whom I could occasionally relate, these past couple of years -- should be stepping back and asking himself some hard questions:
  1. My girlfriend continued to watch this go on, and yet said/did nothing. She's now acting mad. Is it because I didn't let her know in advance that she could watch? 
  2. My girlfriend is angry because she had to watch. Should I have invited her to join us in the first place?
  3. If the answers to both of the above are no, do I really want to stay with this woman who can't take action in her life?
In conclusion, I can't believe I used to think Shaggy had it right. He's lucky I didn't have to consult a psychologist for all this trauma... if I did, I'd be sending him the bill.

--Aidan