I seem to have this weird mental block that permits me to think of others, of the future, and of my past. But, although I consider myself to be fairly intelligent (and hopefully that's not coming off as self-centered or full-of-myself), I don't feel as though I have as developed a self-schema as I should.

I remember, back in Grade 11, when asked about how I identify myself, I responded with "I don't. My view is always biased, so I rely on what friends, enemies, and acquaintances say, both explicitly and implicitly." And, to an extent, I still feel that way. I know something is missing from that statement about my own self-views, but I don't know what.

Why do I find it so difficult to examine myself? To think about what's wrong, what makes me happy, why I work the way I do? Why don't I pay critical attention to my habits, instead deciding to write what I consider to be insightful, though generalized to the point where I can hardly even recognize my own ideas anymore?

Sometimes, I can barely even re-read my own writing. I glaze over it, treating it like all information in today's knowledge-sharing world. Hell, I can barely pay myself the attention I'm so often asking from you.

If you've got any introspection exercises for me, I'd love to hear 'em. I recognize that I won't be able to lift the heavy weights right away, since I haven't been to the gym in a while. But damnit, I want to get in shape.

--Aidan